Image from
http://dominicjallen.com/2013/09/22/did-jesus-doubt-god-the-father-on-the-cross/
And at three o’clock Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” which is translated, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Mark 15:34)
Does Our Lord Jesus forsake us? No.
Then why did our Lord say these words? Has God really forsaken Him, His Only Begotten Son? No. What Jesus has done is that He showed us that everyone, even the holiest of people, feels the sense of abandonment and that He is one with us even during these times.
Saint John of the Cross has described this as the "Dark Night of the Soul", and this is experienced by everyone -- you, me -- and all the saints, even Blessed Teresa of Calcutta. But this dark night is more than just a "dark night". According to Phyllis Zagano and Kevin Gillespie in their article "Mother Teresa's Dark Night", they said that it involves two major phases: (1) The Dark Night of Senses and Spirituality; and (2) The Loss of God. And "[s]ouls invited into Dark Night, he wrote, realize they just can’t pray anymore. [And] Not only does prayer cease, but those experiencing Dark Night lose the joy of the spiritual journey." (Zagano and Gillespie, 2014)
But how were the saints able to get past it? How were they able to become victorious?
Simple solution but requires a lot: holding on to their commitment to serve and love Jesus Christ until the very end.
Jesus does this in order to see how much we love Him and how much we seek Him daily. He hides himself from us in order to purify our intentions and our souls as to how we see Him as our Lord and Savior.
And this is how Jesus showed it through the cross. He showed us that despite the sufferings that we are experiencing, despite the dryness in our spiritual life, GOD IS THERE PRESENT.
Let us continue to seek Him no matter what happens.
"When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple there whom he loved, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son." Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother.” And from that hour the disciple took her into his home." (John 19: 26-27)
My first encounter with the prayer "Memorare" was years ago when I was praying the rosary. And as I prayed, I was struck by the first few lines of the prayer:
Remember, O most gracious virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided.
And it is true, and thus was the purpose of Our Lord Jesus when He gave His mother to St. John the Evangelist and eventually to us. He extended her role as not only being the Mother of Jesus, the Mother of God, but also as the Mother of all nations.
Many times in my life when I personally felt Mary's hand guiding to Jesus and also protecting me when I am in trouble. It is during these times when I cry out to her like a baby, "Mama Mary, help us!" And she will be the first to rescue me where she will send people in order to protect us. Often times, she will send and touch the hearts of people in order to guide us to the right path. She clears the way to see clearly God's plan in our lives especially during the times when I was so confused as to where I am going.
Mother Mary is there. She's there ready and willing to help bring us closer to Jesus. She is always there to help, guide and assist us. She is there with arms wide open to welcome us home and to lead us back to Jesus.
Remember, O most gracious virgin Mary, that never was it know that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto Thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy, hear and answer me. Amen.
Painting from https://catholicismpure.wordpress.com/2010/12/10/the-repentant-thief/
"Amen I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise." (Luke 23:43)
Many don't know this (or may have not noticed) that the first saint ever cannonized was Saint Dimas (or sometimes called as Saint Dismas).
Yes! The repentant thief is a saint who was personally cannonized by Jesus Himself whose feast day is on March 25 (however, since the Feast of the Annunciation falls on the same day, the Church takes this as top priority).
Although we only have the verse above to describe who Saint Dimas is, there is a well-known tradition that even before they met during the crucifixion, they already met when they were still children.
According to the tradition, he was a leprous child who grew up with a band of robbers. It was during this time that Mary and Joseph were fleeing Nazareth and on their way to Egypt when the Holy Family encountered this band of robbers. Instead of robbing them, they felt a sense of compassion that they were asked to stay in their tent for the night. The leader (who was Saint Dimas' father) noticed that the Holy Child could heal their leprous child, asked his wife to ask Mary if they could bathe their son in the same water which Mary used to bathe Jesus. So, as soon as she placed him in the same water Jesus used, he was healed.
After thirty-three years, they met again bathing. This time, not bathing in water but bathing in blood of Christ's mercy. That is why for me, there is a special place for Saint Dimas in this Passion sequence.
What makes him special?
Simple. He said,
"Have you no fear of God, for you are subject to the same condemnation? And indeed, we have been condemned justly, for the sentence we received corresponds to our crimes, but this man has done nothing criminal.”
Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” (Luke 23: 40-42).
He saw himself extremely worthy of death for the crime he committed.
He was completely sorry for everything that he has done and has completely resolved himself not to sin again.
He knew that he has sinned and has made a complete repentance in front of Jesus whom he recognizes as the one who can forgive his sins. That is why he looked on him and said, "I'm sorry Lord! Please remember me when you come into your kingdom."
How many times have we been rightfully sorry for all the sins that we have committed? Have we resolved ourselves to come before Christ in the Sacrament of Reconciliation and say to Him, "I'm sorry Lord for all that I've been doing to you, for hurting you because of my favorite sins"?
It is time to come back to Him and repent.
It is time ask for repentance from Christ and not be like the other thief who mocks Him.
It is time to be like Saint Dimas.
Let us ask for the intercession of Saint Dimas this Holy Week that we may be repentant of our sins and bring us closer to the waters of Christ's mercy as we pray the Prayer to Saint Dimas:
Glorious Saint Dismas, you alone of all the great Penitent Saints were directly canonized by Christ Himself; you were assured of a place in Heaven with Him "this day" because of the sincere confession of your sins to Him in the tribunal of Calvary and your true sorrow for them as you hung beside Him in that open confessional; you who by the direct sword thrust of your love and repentance did open the Heart of Jesus in mercy and forgiveness even before the centurion's spear tore it asunder; you whose face was closer to that of Jesus in His last agony, to offer Him a word of comfort, closer even than that of His Beloved Mother, Mary; you who knew so well how to pray, teach me the words to say to Him to gain pardon and the grace of perseverance; and you who are so close to Him now in Heaven, as you were during His last moments on earth, pray to Him for me that I shall never again desert Him, but that at the close of my life I may hear from Him the words He addressed to you: "This day thou shalt be with Me in Paradise." Amen.
Crucifixion as seen from the cross by James Tissot
"Father, forgive them for they do not know what they do" (Luke 23: 34)
How does it feel when the people that we loved and cared for persecute us?
How does it feel when we help people out of our good intentions turn things around and say bad things to us?
This is what Jesus felt after being nailed to the cross and slowly being lifted up. He sees the people from the crowd whom He has touched just staring at Him and doing nothing. He hears them shouting and mocking him for every good act that He has done. His heart is slowly being broken into two because all of the effort He did and all of the miracles He has done to reveal to Israel that He is the one sent by God meant nothing to them.
He has given His entire love to everyone and has been seeking the lost sheep from afar to bring them back and to reveal to everyone that He is the Son of God who has come to restore everything to Himself and to free them from sin. But in the end, they have crucified the one who has loved them first -- we have crucified the one who has loved us first.
But how does it take for someone to easily forgive those people, especially for those whom we have done good to?
We've encountered this in many situations. Sometimes at work, sometimes with our friends and sometimes with those who are very much close to us. And at times, we would love to give them a taste of hell by seeking revenge on them.
But what will it bring us? Will we be able to sleep soundly at night?
Probably. But how about our soul?
The Prophet Jeremiah has clearly showed how it should be done.
Yes, I hear the whisperings of many:
“Terror on every side!
Denounce! let us denounce him!”
All those who were my friends
are on the watch for any misstep of mine.
“Perhaps he can be tricked; then we will prevail,
and take our revenge on him."
But the LORD is with me, like a mighty champion:
my persecutors will stumble, they will not prevail.
In their failure they will be put to utter shame,
to lasting, unforgettable confusion.
LORD of hosts, you test the just,
you see mind and heart,
Let me see the vengeance you take on them,
for to you I have entrusted my cause.
Sing to the LORD,
praise the LORD,
For he has rescued the life of the poor
from the power of the evildoers! (Jer. 20: 10-13)
I remember one time when I was in the same situation. I was completely raging in anger that I've been thinking of what to do to him to make him pay. But the Lord came to me in my prayer and said these words:
Never lay your hand on him. Revenge and justice is mine. All you need to do is to pray for him.
This is what Jesus did when He hung on the cross. He could have when down and slapped everyone.
But no.
In His humility and love for entire mankind, He lifted all of the sins committed to Him to the Father and asking to forgive them for not recognizing Him as His Only Beloved Son.
Lift everything to the Lord and live with love, even if the people whom we love hurt us.
Before I start this blog entry, I would like to share with you this song written by Thomas Tallis entitled "If Ye Love Me".
I've been singing in choirs since 2002. Thanks to my friend Eugene who have taught me the basics on how to read choral scores. From there, I improved my craft and learned a lot of things and realizations. And one of my realizations is that the Church or any Catholic/Christian Community is like a choral score.
I can hear clearly the question "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!?!?!"
Here it is...
For starters, you may have noticed that there are 4 voices: Soprano, Alto, Tenor and Bass. My conductor in one of my choirs gave me this analogy when describing how the melodic line per voice should be sung:
Basses are like your typical "Santa Claus": jolly, happy and always laughing. They have deep voices which doesn't seem to bring the house into sadness.
Tenors are like your typical dads: They may be commanding and hard to understand, but they are doing it with care. They command the family, but they do it because they love you.
Altos are like mothers who sacrifice so much for the family. They are the ones that continuously love without asking for anything in return. Even if the family forgets to give love to their mothers, they still show love to them.
Sopranos are those jumpy teens that always goes with the flow of the music. They don't mind what's going on as long as all of the attention is on them.
Now with that in mind, imagine yourself inside a room with 4 friends (that is, two girls and two men) then someone starts a melody until this song comes into writing. Thus the term "Polyphony" came into being.
Now since every voice has it's own melody to share or to sing, isn't this similar to our Church or in a general aspect, our Community?
Whenever we get to meet new people, we recognize that they have a different story to share. They have their own melody. Thus, we "blend in" to their story and create a new, but enticing, song. It also goes for the older people in the organization. Whenever we meet them and get to know them more, we "blend in" our story to them.
So what "gells" us to produce this music? Just as the melodies in a polyphonic music are gelled by formulating a good "chord progression", so does our Baptism in Christ gell us together just as what Cardinal Tagle said during his Chrism Mass Homily. And just as the goal of chord progression is to establish "a tonality founded on a key, root or tonic chord and that is based upon a succession of root relationships", so does our goal is to bring every voice, every person back to our "tonic chord", our "root chord" who is Jesus Christ.
To end, whenever people tell me that choral music is just for wimps or they cannot relate this kind of music to their Justin Bieber, Ne-yo, etc. and that choral music is just for the church, I just smile and say to them inside, "You're missing a lot in this."
Last week (Palm Sunday), as I was on my way up the Parish Hall to setup the room for the Catechism Seminar, I saw my friend who is in front of the Parish Office. She told me that she's waiting for her turn for confession. So I decided to have my confession as well since it's been a month since I had it.
After I had my confession, the priest gave me this penance: Have 2 minutes of silence. So I said to myself, "Ok! It's just fine with me because I love silence and to let my mind reflect and stay silent with God." (I said this not to complain for the lengthy prayers which other priests give. Whatever the priest gives me as his penance, it's fine because that is what God wants as a form of reparation to my sins). Then I left and went on my way to setup the room.
While the seminar was on going, I was about to go out the room in order to get something when I saw someone outside about to come in. And as he opened the door, I saw M---------: the person who put my fiancee to shame in front of his choir because of something he thought was right.
Back story:
My fiancee joined a parish choir while I was still back at home. This choir was handled by M---------. At first, he was ok and I believed then that he would ask my fiancee for help in terms of choral matters and vocal training because we were taught by our conductors who were former members of the Philippine Madrigal Singers, and also I taught her some of the things I've learned from different choirs, especially from the UP Singing Ambassadors.
But came that dreadful day. It was about the song which we perfectly knew well. M------ was teaching the song with the wrong rhythmic pattern. My fiancee corrected him saying that this is not the correct rhythm and she sang the correct one. Then he scolded her in front of that choir telling her that that was what the composer taught him and he taught it to him PERSONALLY.
That night, she called me and told me about what happened. I researched for the score and showed it to her and she was correct. Then she decided to leave that choir because she know that she was correct.
(Note that this was not the first time it happened. The event I shared was the second time.)
With that story, it made a mark on me and told myself that he's stupid and does not know what he's teaching. And when I came here and listened to his choir, I said to her, "Good thing you left. My choir back at home is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy better than him." Also, I found out from her that he does not use choral scores or sheet music whenever he teaches. And I was not surprised...
Yes, I'm a choral conductor as well as I teach what I've been taught by my conductors for 11 years.
On to the main story...
So as he entered the room, I gave him the look that says "I hate you more than ever! I hate you more than you'll ever know! Even if my fiancee, out of her humbleness, asked for your forgiveness and you forgave her, I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU UNTIL YOU SAY SORRY TO HER IN FRONT OF ME!!!!! BINASTOS MO SYA NA AKO AT YUNG MGA DATING MIYEMBRO NG PHILIPPINE MADRIGAL SINGERS ANG NAGTURO NG TAMA!!!" (I also gave this look to him when I went to my friend's house only to find out that he is her roommate)
I tried to keep calm and be composed because I don't want to make a scene there.
We went into prayer before we closed this seminar. And as we were praying, a voice came to me and said clearly these words...
Forgive.
I know it was God's voice talking to me and I know that it was about him because I've been asking for forgiveness because I still find it hard to forgive him after what he did. So I asked why. He didn't reply...
yet...
God gave me his response when I went inside a church. I was alone there and it was perfect.
And I kept silent.
Then I saw a vision of myself talking to Jesus and this was what happened.
Jesus: Forgive him.
Me: How am I supposed to forgive him? You knew for sure what happened to my fiancee and why, until now, I haven't forgiven him.
Jesus: Yes I know. But didn't you realize that I went through what you're going through? I've been telling them that I AM, but they still told me that I am not the Messiah which was promised to them by My Father. I've been pointing to them in scripture where I AM, but they nailed me to the cross and treated me like a thief and a sinful man.
At that point, I recalled everything that I've learned during the EWTN Bible Study Series by Jeff Cavins. Here are some of them:
"A prophet like me will the LORD, your God, raise up for you from among your own kindred; that is the one to whom you shall listen. This is exactly what you requested of the LORD, your God, at Horeb on the day of the assembly, when you said, “Let me not again hear the voice of the LORD, my God, nor see this great fire any more, or I will die.” And the LORD said to me, What they have said is good. I will raise up for them a prophet like you from among their kindred, and will put my words into the mouth of the prophet; the prophet shall tell them all that I command." Deut. 18:15-18
"The word of the LORD came to me: Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds* of Israel. Prophesy and say to them: To the shepherds, thus says the Lord GOD: Woe to the shepherds of Israel who have been pasturing themselves! Should not shepherds pasture the flock? You consumed milk, wore wool, and slaughtered fatlings, but the flock you did not pasture. You did not strengthen the weak nor heal the sick nor bind up the injured. You did not bring back the stray or seek the lost but ruled them harshly and brutally. So they were scattered for lack of a shepherd, and became food for all the wild beasts. They were scatteredd and wandered over all the mountains and high hills; over the entire surface of the earth my sheep were scattered. No one looked after them or searched for them.
For thus says the Lord GOD: Look! I myself will search for my sheep and examine them. As a shepherd examines his flock while he himself is among his scattered sheep, so will I examine my sheep. I will deliver them from every place where they were scattered on the day of dark clouds." Ezekiel 34:1-6, 11-12
"But a shoot shall sprout from the stump of Jesse, and from his roots a bud shall blossom. The spirit of the LORD shall rest upon him: a spirit of wisdom and of understanding, A spirit of counsel and of strength, a spirit of knowledge and of fear of the LORD, and his delight shall be the fear of the LORD. Not by appearance shall he judge, nor by hearsay shall he decide, But he shall judge the poor with justice, and decide fairly for the land’s afflicted. He shall strike the ruthless with the rod of his mouth, and with the breath of his lips he shall slay the wicked. Justice shall be the band around his waist, and faithfulness a belt upon his hips." Isaiah 11:1-5
"Again the LORD spoke to Ahaz: Ask for a sign from the LORD, your God; let it be deep as Sheol, or high as the sky! But Ahaz answered, “I will not ask! I will not tempt the LORD!” Then he said: Listen, house of David! Is it not enough that you weary human beings? Must you also weary my God? Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign; the young woman, pregnant and about to bear a son, shall name him Emmanuel. Curds and honey he will eat so that he may learn to reject evil and choose good; for before the child learns to reject evil and choose good, the land of those two kings whom you dread shall be deserted.
The LORD shall bring upon you and your people and your father’s house such days as have not come since Ephraim seceded from Judah (the king of Assyria)." isaiah 7: 10-17
At that point, I felt nothing. I was stripped down to my core and seemed that my ranting was nothing to what he encountered.
I was ashamed and felt that I was nothing...
Until I watched this video during the 7 Last Words before the Solemnity of the Death of Jesus Christ.
I was moved and didn't know what to do or say. He was right. Jesus didn't have to wait for them to say sorry that they didn't recognize Him in Scriptures. He did it because He loves them and that they belong to Him, although they do not know Him ("For the sake of Jacob, my servant, of Israel, my chosen one, I have called you by your name, giving you a title, though you knew me not." Isaiah 45:4). Thus one of the last words of Jesus which is "Father forgive them for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23: 34) gave a new meaning to the word "Forgiveness".
If you ask me now, I really do not know. Though I'm willing to forgive him, but it will take time for me to heal the wounds of what he did to her. But I'm almost there... I'm almost there...
I would like to share to you all my reply to Marvin Gonzaga when he asked me a number of questions regarding the household in SFC.
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hi marvs!
sorry for the late reply. sobrang busy lang sa work. Ito po yung mga sagot ko sa tanong mo.
Most memorable household topic/moment: - Most memorable ko is yung household namin back in 2006 with Dave Balino. Topic ata namin nun is about letting go of your sins. During our household, nalaman namin na pare-pareho kami ng struggles. Since then, kami-kami na ang nagtutulungan in order to overcome the struggles. Ito rin yung naging way namin para maging close sa isa't isa. Nagkaroon kami nun ng nightouts and mas naging interesting ang household namin since then.And until now, dala ko pa rin siya kasi yun yung naging drive ko to have a closer household.
Message to the new members: 1. Wag kayong mailang sa kanya or have distance with him. Kausapin mo siya bilang kaibigan. That's one thing na nagustuhan ko kay Dave kaya rin ako tumagal sa SFC. He treated us na tropa lang and there was no distance between his members. Take note: tao rin siya at kaibigan ninyo. 2. Have faith in your household head. He may not be the solution to your problems, pero hindi ka nya pababayaan. He's there to support you in times when you're down and look for ways to help you grow into a better Catholic. I remember na kung hindi dahil kay Dave, I wouldn't know about the free Psychotrauma Clinic in UST. Kung hindi rin dahil kay Dave, I wouldn't be where I am now: Household Head (or sector head ata) of SFC Kuala Lumpur. 3. Love him and take good care of him. Remember that God has planned everything and may reason yan kung bakit siya yung household head ninyo. He may not be the household head that you envision, but God has made it perfect because he wants you to learn something from him.
To the new and old household heads (akala nyo ha? hehehe!): - Love them as your own. I remember what St. John Bosco used to tell his boys back then na it is much better to save a soul to heaven than to bring him with you to hell. You are responsible for his soul, and I believe that's one purpose of being a household head. I know that you can't control everything that he does to his soul. But with your daily prayers for your members, miracles can happen. Sa tingin ba ninyo na kung wala yung mga naging household head ni Bro. Rolly, Bro. Myke Perfecto and Bro Joemar (yung dating walking mercury drug) e would they be the people they are right now? Pray for them. Pray unceasingly.
Also, I ask you to pray for me rin dito sa KL. Sobrang hirap to be a better household head here. I sometimes feel the burden of being a leader na unlike sa atin. Ngayon pa't CLP na namin, I know na maraming responsibilities pa ang darating sa akin, especially when it comes to pastoring them.
Pray for me for more patience, love and understanding for my members.
Pray for me that I may strive to be a better Catholic and a better leader.
Yun lang po. Ingat kayo palagi!!! Miss you guys!!!
