I was reading the book The Confessions of St. Augustine on my way to work. I was so amazed as how St. Augustine writes his confessions, not as a bishop but as a person -- an ordinary human being like you and me -- with extra-ordinary longing and desire to love God in every way. And as I read it, I said to myself, "Wow! How can such a man write about God, telling Him about everything, with complete reverence and honor!" And at that point, I saw a vision which made me shed a tear.
I saw myself facing Jesus on top of a hill. We were talking like friends do. From what I saw, He was of the same height as I am. And as we were discussing, I saw Him grew bigger and bigger until he was like the Christ the Redeemer statue in Brazil.
I just cried.
The second vision came to me after the workshop Silent Love. Bro. Ton asks us to close our eyes and imagine the Lord. As I closed my eyes and imagined Him, I asked, "Where are you Lord?" And then, I saw Him waving from afar as if very excited to look for Him. And He said, "I'm here, Ryan. I'm here."
Then, tears came down my cheeks.
The third vision came to me during the second talk entitled Heartwired. It was at the latter part that this happened. We were in a prayer session in preparation for confession. As I was praying, I saw my heart opened like a garbage bag. There I saw the filth, grime and dirt, and I hated the smell of it. Then I saw a hand which is about to put inside. And a voice came to me and said, "Can I clean it up?"
I was ashamed of my dirty heart that I don't want Him to clean it.
I was full of pride and all.
And as I reflected everything that God had revealed to me, He wants to say these words to me.
I love you. I AM the Lord of the earth and the Lord of your heart. I am the Lord of everything.
I love you forever and will continue to love you until the end.
Just come back to me.
Amen.
