Becoming like Saint Matthias

Then they gave lots to them, and the lot fell upon Matthias, and he was counted with the eleven apostles. (Acts 1: 26)

Do you really know who St. Matthias is? There was no record of him ever during the ministry of Jesus here on earth, nor was there any time that he was mentioned in the four gospels. He was only (and I would like to put emphasis on that) mentioned in the Acts of the Apostles where they were searching among the other followers of Jesus as the replacement for Judas. And that was it.

I would also like to emphasize another thing, and at one point assume one thing.

I believe that St. Matthias was really there with Jesus through thick and thin. Wherever He goes, he goes. He listens to His voice, and does it whole heartily. He never assumed anything and never wanted anything.

All that he wanted was to be with the Lord and follow His ways till the very end.

And when he was given the opportunity to step up and be counted among the apostles, he was humble and continued on what he is doing behind the scenes.

For me, he is a model disciple and follower of Christ.

Honestly, there were times that I was the opposite of St. Matthias.

I assumed positions because I felt that I was much qualified than the rest.

I always wanted to be recognized and be part of the group, to feel that I'm here and there always.

Thus, it came to a point that I was completely humbled when, in my assumption that I would be chosen, I was not and felt completely devastated. Thus, it forced me to say to myself these words (some of you might know and have read them):

I will not serve in the Christian Life Program for one year.

I will just attend my household regularly and the conferences whenever possible.

I will just be part of the service team when needed.

I thought that that will happen, until He surprised me.

Until I was called to be a facilitator again to my surprise (I was just a photographer).

Until our chapter head tapped me and told me that I "may be" chosen to become a household head.

Until God surprised me with many things.

And until then, I was completely humbled from my selfishness and my pride.

Forgive me for everything Lord.

Here I am Lord, I come to do Your will.